Having personally experienced many challenging relationships, I've identified five factors we can control ourselves that, in my opinion, can make you sink or swim in a relationship. It all starts with you.
Practice makes perfect, and you must start within before you can start anywhere else. These are key factors to a successful relationship that only you can have an effect on.
1. Your mood
The fact is: no one enjoys a Debbie Downer.
What determines a bad mood in a relationship, or in general? Anger, spite, jealousy, guilt, etc. In our minds, we let these things bother us to the point of breaking down. For many women, our mood can fluctuate in a single instant.
We blame our hormones or "that time of the month" when, in reality, we are in control of what we feel, think and perceive in any situation. Our vibe speaks volumes, and men pick up on that in an instant.
I strongly believe that what we put out into the universe is what we receive back in return. This is stated clearly in The Secret (which is an excellent book or DVD to look into!). What we are, we attract.
There is such a strong emphasis today on beauty, glamour and looking a certain way to get what you want—and get the man you want—but, at the end of the day, it is not just about physical beauty; it's about the vibe we give off that determines whether or not we will attract a healthy and happy love.
I have an extremely difficult time with this, and I have to practice and train every day to be positive and upbeat. Some examples of what I practice are reading personal development books, writing articles, playing with my dog, going for a drink with a friend, taking up a new hobby or interest and volunteering.
I know these sound repetitive and you have heard them all before, but the reality is that a woman who is busy, giving back, learning and growing is much more attractive than a woman who is stagnant, moody and irritable. Read more on youqueen.